“Suffering, failure, loneliness, sorrow, discouragement, and death will be part of your journey, but the Kingdom of God will conquer all these horrors. No evil can resist grace forever.” -Brennan Manning
When the news broke a few weeks ago that Robin Williams had committed suicide I was filled with grief. It was a grief that I knew all too well, a grief of understanding what emotions that he went through thinking that suicide is a rational decision. It made me think back to my own brush with suicide. I was saved over 10 years ago but it wasn’t the actual prayer of committing my heart and life to Jesus that changed me. Although I knew after being saved I had a forever place in heaven I also struggled with the previous 23 years of my life of shame and rejection.
Also, hearing the news of Robin Williams’ passing made me think of what transpired on the day I was going to end my life and how I told no one of my plans of how I was going to do it. I had been saved just two weeks earlier but I still was dealing with a lot of flesh issues. Feeling worthless, feeling unloved, and feeling like I was a burden to everyone I came into contact with. I was consumed with my feelings of how I thought people viewed me. I was carrying a weight on my shoulders that I was not intended to carry by myself. The enemy was whispering all these things I had heard in my life of who I was. I thought that must be who I was because people, close people, told me all the wrong I was doing. I didn’t work hard enough, fast enough, or smart enough.
I didn’t do what they wanted me to do. I was not loved by these close people that I thought should love me. And I had invested all of my worth in what people said about me.
These “close” people also thought that I needed to forget everything I had gone through. They would tell me just move on. But I couldn’t move on because the suffering I endured was fresh in my mind. I was suffering and they really didn’t know why. It was what they didn’t know about me that had the firmest grip on my heart. This grip was so tight that I felt ashamed with every passing day that these secrets consumed me.
So I felt the only way out was to end my life. I only could see my worth in my experiences and not who God viewed me to be. To accept what God says about you is to reject what people have said about you. At times this can be hard. The Lord tells us that his words are the only truth and that includes your identity. Do you know what the Lord says who you are?
Here are 5 reasons God created you and the promises He has for you:
1.) God created you in his image. You were not created randomly or without reason. (Genesis 1:27)
2.) As a Christian you are no longer a slave to your pain because you have received a “spirit of adoption”. (Romans 8:14-15)
3.) If you have accepted Jesus into your heart as your Lord and Savior then you are a new creation. Your old self is dead because Jesus has given you life. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
4.) He chose you to be apart of His kingdom before the world began. (Ephesians 1:4). There are others that have endured the suffering that you have but now you are apart of the same family as others who have received the “spirit of adoption”. (Ephesians 2:19)
5.) You are God’s child, loved so deeply he calls you HIS beloved. (1 John 3:1-3)
For those of you who are thinking about suicide as the answer I pray you hear these words. I pray that the truth shines so that you know there really is hope for you right where you are! Suicide is not the answer to your pain even though it looks like a viable option. Sure, you won’t be living to feel pain anymore but you also won’t be able to feel the healing power that the Lord provides. He can provide joy when all you see is darkness. That joy is a real possibility for you in the midst of your pain. The pain we experience is very real but so is the hope and the joy we have in Jesus.
The devil wants to you to keep quiet about your pain so a majority of people never know the true depths of your pain. Keeping your pain locked inside your heart is not strength even though the world tells you it is. Being truly strong is admitting your sorrows to someone that you can trust.
Tell someone about your pain and don’t wait another day!
“Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” -Isaiah 41:10
“I sought the LORD, and He answered me, And delivered me from all my fears.” -Psalm 34:4
“My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved.” -Ephesians 2:4-5
“For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son.” – Colossians 1:13