I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. -Philippians 4:12
Being single is hard! Like anyone else I wish for things I do not have but would do anything in order to get them. The Lord has placed me in a time of singleness and although I do not know how long that will last I do know that God has a purpose.
It takes true courage to be single–especially when you are seeking Jesus. The world doesn’t exactly embrace us as children of God. But there are things we can reflect on to understand this season. There will be times in your life that God will allow circumstances to unfold just so he can have quality time with you. He loves you as his dearly beloved child. And sometimes he has to get us in a place to where we don’t have any outside distractions so that we can focus on him, and only him.
There are three things that have helped me to learn about life in my singleness.
There is always a reason why we are single. Sometimes we know the reason and other times not. Use this time to ask God for the answer. He can reveal a great amount of beauty and discernment within you when all you see is brokenness in yourself. Whether you have never been married, divorced, or widowed we all face degrees of brokenness. After my divorce I was so broken I didn’t know what to do next so I would just sit with the Lord. Sometimes words came easily but other times all I could do was cry. During this time I experienced night after night of this quality time with the Lord and through it he strengthened and healed me by providing me comfort while I was still fragile. My brokenness did not disappear overnight but instead day by day I learned that God was still God and he is still a loving and awesome Savior. He won’t always take away the struggle or the affliction but he will teach us to focus on him. And when we focus on Jesus all the other things in our life will lose their power. And we will begin to realize God has it under control.
Identity seems to be a term to describe the discovery of ourselves. But how many of us are seeking the Lord to find out who he created us to be? Our identity is found in Christ but if we don’t have a close personal relationship with him then we will be wandering around trying to find out who we are. And the shocker for many of us is that it has to do with Christ and not us. The most important sentence I read about my identity as I was searching for meaning in my life was, “It’s not all about you”. That sentence did not sit well with me because I thought finding who I was born to be was about discovering who I was. We first have to discover who Jesus is before we get a glimpse of who we really are.
Sexual temptation entices everyone and abstinence takes discipline. Making the choice to not have sex before marriage while living in a sex-infused world takes strength. And to be honest I don’t have that strength or willpower on my own–our strength only comes from the Lord. In our world that tries to validate our flesh desires we have to be careful of the trap that is set for us to walk into. It’s not an easy thing to walk away from but it is worth it because God is better than what temptations offer us.
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. -1 Corinthians 10:13
If you find yourself in this time of being single take the time to discover the joy that comes with it. It may not last forever but there is a sweetness that happens in this moment. Take your time to allow God to work in each area of your life in order to heal and learn what he wants you to know.
But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.
-2 Peter 3:8-9