“I have one desire now – to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy and strength into it.” -Elisabeth Elliot
If there is a message God is trying to tell me in the past few weeks it is:
STOP HOLDING BACK
I am guilty of holding back–trying to control my published posts as if I would not scare away you, my readers. God has been slowly encouraging me on the way. Let go! I hear Him whisper to me. ‘Let go of who you think you are’. He wants me to let go so that I can be who he intends me to be.
But that is harder than you think.
I tell God all the time, “You know how hard it is for me to let go“. It is the letting go of who I think I am that is hard. For too long it has become my identity. But now God is telling me to let it go.
I now find that I am to the point where I can’t hold this wall up anymore. I don’t want you to see just who I am right now, I want you to see who God created me to be.
Recklessly in love with Him!
When you are in love you don’t hold back from one another and especially not in public. So it shouldn’t be any different with God. But it is isn’t it?
I want to allow transparency to flood my whole being.
I want it to be clear that I am hopelessly in love with God. These words right here are the hardest for me to say. Honestly, I don’t show my true loving feelings for fear that you may see how broken I truly am.
Love is hard for me–yet I write about it all the time because if there was one thing my life is about it is LOVE. I want it the most and it is my greatest pursuit. God’s love is what drives me into further pursuit of true love–His true love.
But to be reckless with my love for the Lord I have to stop holding back.
I want to be reckless to get that love I so badly desire. But then I have these thoughts and fears holding me back:
- My heart will be exposed.
- Fear may try to convince me that I need to be quiet.
- Fear of rejection!
- Fear of failure.
As we all know fear is nothing but a lie but it creeps in like a thief in the night waiting to take your most prized possession.
In the midst of all of these things God will be there holding my hand to walk forward with a new-found courage.
Living reckless is only a few steps away if I can just give up my control and trust HIM. I could be wrecked in this process of being reckless for the Lord but that is a chance I can’t afford not to take.
It’s time for me to be reckless. Is it time for you too?